Today we’re featuring a story from Suzanne Tucker. A contributing author for Sunshine After the Storm, Suzanne pens the blog My Mommy Manual and also writes about loss and grief at In the Face of Loss. The following is a story about grieving and finding faith in your spiritual beliefs.
Thank you for sharing your faith with us today, Suzanne.
I met with a friend yesterday who has recently lost two persons she loves. Her Grandmother passed away and then, nearly just two weeks later, her uncle slipped into a coma just long enough for her to be by his side and say goodbye before his last breath. An uncle who was more like a father.
We talked of the dark place she now finds herself in, “post-mortum depression” we called it, breaking our what must have appeared serious faces to those around us at the coffee house into smiling ones. She shared, it’s not that she’s doubting God’s hand in her life; it’s that she is doubting herself. We spoke of love, relationship, God and acceptance. We talked about how easy it is to walk the walk when life offers roses, how much harder it is when life is harder, and how (for maybe the first time in her life) she is struggling to surrender to just be in the darkness — to be in the place her heart is leading her. A place that is really, really low.
We shared about humbling it is to be in this low dark place. How very much it feels like literally being down on ones knees. Down where only the core of you, your divine essence and that which you know as God, can survive. Down to a place so still and quiet that you are able to be with the big questions of life. What is love? Am I capable of love? and if so, how??? How do I love? How do others love me??? How do I love my life when I do not love the things happening in my life?
She told me then of the simple prayer that came to her after all this asking. For her, it all boiled down to this: “God, how do I love?”
She told me then of how the very next day she received her answer. It came in the form of a friend’s Facebook post. Ten ways to love.
What question is on your heart today? Take a minute to get quiet and to listen to the questions swirling somewhere deep within you, allowing one of these questions to rise to the top. Write what your heart wants/needs to know on a scrap of paper. Carry this scrap of paper in your pocket until God’s hand in your life brings you the clear and certain answer your heart is seeking.
Open yourself to the truth that God is there, listening, loving you, sending you signs in your daily life to comfort, stroking the hair back from your face, looking at you with adoring eyes and saying, “My dear one who is hurting, I love you so. Rest your head here in My hand. Be not afraid.”
Love and light to you this day, where ever life finds you.
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